(Publishing a draft that I created in September 2014 and finished on January 18, 2015. Duke is now a year old, and he is doing great!)
My morning run with Duke, my nine-month-old puppy, went fine until a neighbor outside gardening caught his attention. Before I could stop him, the furball darted in front of me. The ending is best left to the imagination. I will say that I now have two bruised and scraped elbows, a cut on my left palm, skinned knees, and a cracked phone.
I was so angry at Duke. We have been working on “heel,” and he has been obeying, at least until this morning.
I dragged us both home and put him in his crate while telling myself that I would do one of two things: never let him out of the crate again or make sure he NEVER again crosses in front of me while jogging.
After I had calmed a bit, I saw Jesus in my thoughts as He fell the first time at His crucifixion, falling under the weight of our sins. Then the Scripture, “weep for yourselves…” came to mind and I understood that He was hurt and angry too. Realizing how badly we treat one another at times to acquire position or possessions. My earlier anger and embarrassment turned to reflection of Jesus’ suffering for each of us.
Added January 18, 2015
Reading this earlier draft post, I was brought back to an experience I had several years ago, in 2011. My husband and I had an argument one night, a bad enough argument to prompt me to sleep in our daughter’s room who was away at college. I never do that. That night I woke up from an incredibly real dream. In my dream, the Lord was sad. Immediately I switched from asleep to awake and sat straight up in bed. The painted silver stars hanging on my daughter’s wall had tear stains on them. As I tried to make sense of what I was experiencing my entire body started shifting from side to side. I knew at that moment that God, the holy Spirit, was hurting because of the way we, society in general, treat one another. I got up, ran to my bedroom, shared the dream with my husband and apologized, even though I felt the fault was his.
It gets better.
The next day I sat on the floor in front of my living room sofa praying and reading Scripture while my son was in school. I noticed it was getting late in the day, and I needed to clean the kitchen before leaving for car line at his school. Before getting up, I flipped open my Bible to a random Scripture and read: “See the old things I showed you came to be now new things I show you before they happen…” I stood up, flipped on the TV, and was surprised to hear the earthquake in Virginia had just happened. (The sideways shifting of the night before now made perfect sense. I called my husband.)
Just two weeks ago, I again opened my Bible randomly to that same Scripture and felt my body sway. I truly believe we must forgive, ask for forgiveness, and lead lives of love and respect for self and others. All I know is this: God is watching.