A battle started this morning as I was standing before my bathroom mirror drying my hair. I realized that somehow I allowed hurt to create unforgiveness within myself—again. My grandmother used to say, “They’ll get theirs,” when someone hurt me or someone else unfairly. Truly, it’s just another way of saying the Golden Rule, treat others the way you want to be treated. But, take a look around, and it’s easy to see that’s not always true (at least it’s not true within what we can see and know). People who hurt others seem to live long happy lives.
“Grandma, it doesn’t work that way.”
The truth is that even victims of the worst crimes must forgive to live fully once more. Otherwise, they carry hatred within. And that hatred can become the root of sin.
Today’s battle began during Mass last night. The Lord’s message to me was housed within the lyrics of the songs selected for the service, “…walk toward the light…walk in the light…” The Gospel reading was from Jesus’ conversation with Nicodemus in John 3, “…people preferred the darkness to light…” As the Gospel was being proclaimed, I remembered a saint’s vision (sorry, I can’t remember which one) of heaven where God’s servants dressed in white were worshiping unapproachable light.
The sun shone directly through the stained glass window and into my eyes about the same time, and I saw myself walking slowly toward the Light. One step at a time. As I did I “knew” my heart’s content was being exposed.
This morning’s realization began a battle within my heart. That same old hurt in my life (we all have our own) has allowed sin within. What I disliked in those who hurt me became my own sin. I became chained.
As I prayed and asked for help and forgiveness the right side of my face contracted and it felt like an air bubble was alive under my skin there and throughout my right shoulder. (Not for the first time,)
“I forgive, Father, in Jesus’ name. Please forgive me.” (Now, I have to go to Reconciliation!)
Don’t make the same mistake I did. Root out the hurt. Love God first, seek HIS face, love yourself, live for others and SMILE. God loves you. Praying for us all to overcome sin and reach holiness. Amen.
Pray for me.